The Battlefield
XBox360 (Target Consumer: Active Gamer, in mother's basement)
The XBox 360 was the first entrant to the next-gen console war. It featured advanced processing and graphics and excellent on-line play. Unfortunately, it breaks every time you want to use it.
Playstation 3 (Target Consumer: Elitist Asshole)
A late comer, the PS 3 has theoretically more power than the XBox 360 and a blu-ray drive. The PS 3 really doesn't have any games for it, but that's ok, because it looks like an expensive piece of furniture, which is generally how it is used. The PS 3 was the Rolex of the console market: wildly too expensive for its alleged function, with theoretical advantages, and the general reason to purchase being "look what I can afford."
Wii (Target Consumer: Lonely women, broke-ass parents)
The oddball in the next-gen category, the Wii was small, underpowered, but with appeal. The Wii has a controller that you have to stand in front of your TV and wave around to use, which sounds great until you have to do it. Also, the Wii only has about three games. Nevertheless, the Wii's unique control system and lower purchase price have made it a force in the console market.
Graphics Showdown
Let's look at this screen cap from Call of Duty 4 for the XBox 360. Awesome detail, shadowing and texturing.
Now look at the screen cap below for Call of Duty 4 for the PS 3. You can easily see how the better processing power of the PS 3 and its superior memory really blow the doors off the XBox 360. Look at the greater clarity, detail and overall improvement of quality. I mean, you can see it, right?
Finally, let's look below at Call of Duty 4 for the Wii. The lower processing power and simpler graphics can be distinguished, especially from the PS 3. For example, the shadow of the soldier in the background is not even rendered in the Wii version.
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Let's look at an air combat game for the XBox 360. Great background detail, and the plane itself is almost photographic.
Now, check out the PS 3 version. Again, the more expensive system pays off. It's hard to believe it's even the same game.
Finally, look at the Wii version. In a compromise to the lower-end processor, some details are omitted. You can see a loss of resolution in the canyon, and the aircraft becomes slightly more blocky.
Conclusion: For those obsessed with graphics instead of gameplay, you may find the Wii to be a poor choice. The screencaps clearly show a compromise away from leading edge rendering in favor of streamlined, bold graphic choices that keep gameplay at the center of attention. The XBox 360 and the PS 3 are close, probably a tie.
Controllers
XBox 360
The XBox 360 Controller looks like a giant tooth, with holes in it, and nasty germs all over it.
PS 3
The PS 3 Controller looks like the PS 2 Controller. Boring.
Wii
The Wii controller drives most of its sales. The controller takes its own batteries, and operates independently from the console. It has proven to be particularly popular with housewives.
Conclusion: Edge to the Wii for having a real reason why its controllers vibrate.
Reliability
The Playstation 3 wins hands-down. With design flaws still plaguing the XBox360, Microsoft will only say the failure rate is between 0 and 100%, but the smart money is on 150%. The Red Ring of Death comes to all XBoxes, especially since many see heavy use from gamers. The Wii suffers from controller malfunctions usually resulting from the user losing her grip on the controller and either slinging it into the TV or getting it stuck in the vaginal canal. The Playstation 3 almost never fails, since they are never used.
Tilt
For bloodshot-eyed, pasty-skinned, malnourished clerks who like to escape their pointless reality through the medium of videogames, the XBox 360 is the choice. It has lots of actual video games and an online community of other loser jerks and assholes all living in their parents' basements to play against.
For successful middle-aged assholes who want to pretend they're still relevant in any way to America's youth, the Playstation 3 is the choice. It proves money is no object for you, and that you're better than those poor, actual gamers. The fact that it has only one game is no detriment to you since you won't ever play it anyway.
For little children who cannot do any better, or for adults who feel they must buy a game system but are too stupid to check to see if there are games for it first, and for lonely housewives, the Wii is the choice.
See you online.
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