From the mind of Alligatorbling - classic - ready, go:

you see someone at the book store, those fancy kind with the little capachino shops inside the book store... well, its this dude and he's ordering him an italian soda, and you walk up to him and you give him a shit eating grin, then you do a split, not the one leg forward one leg back split, but the kind where your legs slide out to the side of you so you make the shape of an upside down T ... then you draw back your fist and with a giant shout from the bottom of your gut, and you wail into his junk with all your might. POW... you punch that sorry fuxck face right in his gawtdamn junk. i mean you really wail on him. you start swearing, you're like gawtdamn mother milking cow tits full of shxit spraying ball dragging like two harry basket balls sxhit smearing all that is unholy junk punching just to FEEL ALIVE! then you head butt the guy in the junk, as the onlookers blush because it appears you're doing something very taboo... my god, you just headbutted this guy in his junk, his crotch was in your face.. .SHXIT... you need a capachino. so you stand up and order one. a grande. then this nerd walks in with a nintendo power under his arm from 1993.

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