The 2012 End Times: The Origin of the Mayan Prophecies

SETTING: Mayan City of Tikal, small stone building next to pyramids…

Quextrycl: Man, making these calendars sucks. How long have we been at it?

Trzytrcl: Seems like forever. I was tired of it when I was up to 75 BC. Can we call it quits when we get to zero?

Quextrycl: I don’t think so. The high priest told us to keep making new calendars. If we ask him to quit, he might pull our still beating hearts from our living bodies and toss us off the pyramid. That happened to Mifrzcytlz when he asked for a day off without asking two weeks in advance.

Trzytrcl: You’re right. I don’t want to go through that hassle. Still, I thought we had it made being assigned to calendar duty instead of irrigation ditch digging, but who knew it would go on forever?

SCENE ENDS. SIX WEEKS LATER…

Trzytrcl: Ok, seriously. This is way old. I’ve got courtside tickets to see the Plxfcyrlax Sacrificers play the Rixzyolik Sungods tonight and I really don’t want to miss it.

Quextrycl: Man, Plxfcyrlax sucks this year. That will be a blow out. Anyway, what year are you on?

Trzytrcl: I’m starting 2012 and will have it ready for you to finish after lunch. Let’s end this.

Quextrycl: How?

Trzytrcl: No one knows what happens this far into the future on calendars but us right? Let’s just tell them that’s it. That was the last one. There are no more years after 2012. The world ends and stuff. The beauty is no one can contradict us because no one else has been working on it, so we’re the only people who know.

Quextrycl: Wait. That’s freaking brilliant! I like it. Let’s do it. Hell, by the time 2012 gets here and people find out we made it up, we’ll be long gone walking the sky path of the stars.

Trzytrcl: Awesome!

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