I’ve run a few articles trying to help guys step up their game, and of course some people bitch that I’m not talking about women enough so I must be a closet fag. Listen, there’s not enough room in that closet for me and you, so I’m out here, straight as an arrow. What you’re doing is called projection – check into it; ask your boyfriend what it means. Me? I'm a strict vagiterian.

Now, here comes one for the ladies and this ain't no Cosmo feel-good crap.

Five Ways Women Make Guys Cheat
 
When a man and woman get married, two things are thought.  One, the man thinks, “This is the woman I want to be with.”  Two, the woman thinks, “This man could become all the man I want.”  Then, the woman sets out trying to change the man and the woman also starts to change.  Neither of those are things the man wants, and trouble starts brewing.  So, here are the five top things women do to make men nail other women.  Screwing another woman is not cheating if you aren’t fulfilling your part of the bargain.  Below are the things that women do that give men a free pass to free-range poonanny:
 
1.                   Get Fat
 
If you weren’t fat before the ring goes on, why do you think your husband would change into someone who wants to nail a blob?  He liked thin, and you were thin, and he’ll still like thin even when you aren’t.  You’re just forcing him to resist his natural attraction.  How long can he hold out?  Well, how long can you leave a brownie on the counter without sucking it down your cakehole?  Exactly.
 
2.                   Get Your Hair Cut Off
 
This usually comes after getting fat.  If you were a thin hottie with nice hair, and then you decided to grow horizontally and cut your hair off to a man’s length, then you are begging your husband to screw around.  You see these women all the time.  Totally fat asses and short little permed-out hair.  Disgusting!  They look like a teardrop with a wig and polyester. If you looked that way before getting married fine, but if you pulled this shit after bursting out of your too tight white dress, you’re asking for silent partners in your relationship.
 
3.                   Wear Holiday Themed Clothing
 
Once you get fat and cut your hair, you may decide a Christmas/Easter/Halloween sweater would look so cute.  And it will look cute on you as you wave good-bye to your man while he goes out to patrol for a woman who remembers that for a man to be attracted to her she has to be attractive.  Unless your man has a fetish for old dried up grannies, holiday themed clothing is a 100% guarantee to send him out looking for any womb in the storm.
 
4.                   I Don’t Want to Do That Anymore
 
Right, before you were married you blew him so often your dentist could use his cock as a back-up set of your dental records, but now it’s not convenient – your mouth is too full of cake all the time.  You used to do stuff to make him more excited than a blind fag at a hot dog factory, but now you like getting to bed early – to sleep. His pole used to get more ass-action than Richard Gere's hamster, but now it gets less crack than an undercover 5-0 at a Hannah Montana concert. You can say facial now without turning red. Is that something you discussed before you exchanged vows, that you’d cut him off?  Don’t go backwards on sex.  It’s bad enough he married a ho.  It’s unacceptable to marry an ex-ho. If you turn prude he’ll step out to get lewd.
 
5.                   Don’t Change Me, Bro
 
You want the man to spend more time around the house.  You want him to talk about issues more.  You want to “do more things together.”  In other words, now that you’ve got him, you want him to be different.  He married you expecting to be accepted the way he is.  If you try to change him, he’ll be in the club looking for action.

What are the consequences for this inconsiderate behavior? I lay it out below, on what a man is allowed to do if you violate the marriage contract from one to all five of these behaviors.

1 violation (of any of the five):         Flirt with hot waitresses, look at girls online without having an account and attend strip clubs one a month.

2 violations:       Everything above, plus go out to bar with female coworkers sometimes.

3 violations:       Everything above, plus discuss with up to three women “feelings” and “emotions” and text up to two women regularly for non-work reasons.

4 violations:       Everything above, plus nailing a coworker, or a hot waitress, and trolling online.

5 violations:       Everything above, plus nailing anything that can legally be called an adult human female.

You know the score, so don't be upset if you do the stupid shit I've described only to find your man spreading his love around.

Now, if you’ve remained hot, interesting and sexually involved and your man steps out on you, that’s not right. It’s just wrong. In fact, I understand where you’re coming from. It’s disrespectful and you deserve, really, a lot better. You’ve got a lot going for you. I tell you what, why don’t you e-mail or text me and let’s meet for a drink so you can let off, you know, some steam. I’m here for you.

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