Everybody has seen the traditional Segway. It provides personal transportation for people who would rather spend $5,000.00 than actually walk around. Below on the left, the Segway in action transporting people around who are too dumb to wear shoes they can actually walk in. Below on the right, just some of the features that show what you get when you decide to add to global warming by being too lazy to walk.

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Long priced out of the reach of the common man, the Segway has so far been a status tool for the rich, either directly or by proxy by having their servants use them. Now, there is a product for the common man: the SRNE (Segway RedNeck Edition). Pictured below on the left, the SRNE provides comfortable, economical transportation for short distance personal transportation. Below on the right, the features are: 1) Redneck Pilot; 2) Multi-carrier Beverage Transport System (six-pack compatible and standard); 3) Side-rail safety barriers and 4) Neverflat airless tires.

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The SRNE comes in two editions. The Husky and the Narrow Ass. The Narrow Ass can carry one small Redneck while the Husky can safely transport a full-grown big-boned Redneck or two Narrow Ass class Rednecks.
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Both models are priced less than a tenth of a normal Segway, and require virtually no maintenance. They are also all-weather capable and Y2K compliant.

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