Warning:
This story continues many eternal truths revealed through a
narrative socratic format. If you like your “religion”
simple and unthinking, please leave now.
God Called
The microwave rang just as the commercials were ending.
Robert pulled the hot dish from the microwave’s inner
sanctum and hustled to his couch, just in time to catch the
first seconds of Seinfeld. On the coffee table in front of
him sat a Rolling Rock, Mark Twain’s The Gilded Age, a
treatise on quantum mechanics, Churchill’s History of World
War II, and a new volume on the principles of flight. In
another stack, just to the left and on the floor, were the
NIV Bible, the Lewis and Clark Journals, and Lord of the
Flies. His mind ranged to different interests when left to
wander.
Robert tore off the plastic top to his freshly heated
prepared dinner, watched the steam roll out, and looked up
to catch a glimpse of Kramer exploding into Jerry’s
apartment. A show about nothing. He opened The Gilded Age,
Chapter 3. The telephone rang. More correctly, the
telephones rang. He picked up the cordless that waited on
the table beside. Usually, he would let the answering
machine do the job, but the cordless was near and he
grabbed it. The turkey breast waited. “Hello?”
“Hello. This is God.”
Perhaps anything other than this line coming from a strange
voice would have resulted in a Pavlovian hang-up, born from
countless evening telemarketer calls. No, this line was too
good to pass up. Robert replied, “Well, God, since you know
I’m just about to eat dinner, how about I call you back in
an hour? If you’re home, just give me the number to the
switchboard in heaven and I’ll catch up with you later.” He
figured that would throw this strange caller, but God was
not so easily put off.
“You really cannot call me back. Let’s just say I’m
unlisted. Of course I know you are busy, but at least I
didn’t call you at work. Anyway, you’ve seen this episode
before, The Gilded Age can wait, and I don’t mind if you
eat while we talk. You should let that cool a few minutes
anyway.”
Robert looked immediately to the window and wondered for a
moment if he’d locked the door. The adrenaline that passed
through him gave him an agitated feeling. Who would have
known his habits well enough to hit the mark in a prank
call like this? Who would do this? No quick answer, so
Robert stalled for time. “What is it you wanted to talk
about, God?”
“Not much really. Why don’t you go to church?”
“It doesn’t make God seem real to me, and isn’t that the
point? People carrying those Bibles. If they really
believed it was the word of God, how could they justify
spending less time reading it than they do Stephen King?
How could they do anything other than read the Bible? All
the people looking at their watches at twelve o’clock,
waiting for the sermon to be over. The solicitation for
money – why is God broke? How can churches justify building
fancy new buildings when there are so many unmet needs in
their communities? Nope, it doesn’t work for me. Churches
are mostly social clubs. Jesus never needed a fancy new
fellowship hall to preach.” Robert caught his breath and
switched gears. “So I’ve answered your question, you answer
mine – who is this?”
“God.”
“On the telephone?”
“How else?” The deity questioned.
“Burning bush?”
“Trust me, the telephone is better for you.”
“I suppose. But it would have been more convincing if you
made contact in a more miraculous way.”
“Form over substance. Here you have the opportunity to have
a conversation with the one true Deity, and you prefer
flash.”
“Why would God call me?”
“I have invested a lot of energy, so to speak, in the
creation of the universe, and I like, now and then, to find
out first hand how the creation is going. I thought it
might be interesting to speak with you because you are ‘on
the bubble.’”
“What bubble?”
“You are not sure what to believe. You could just as soon
believe in God as not; to you the results are not far from
the same. The fact is that your conception is close to the
truth. That is interesting to me.”
Robert smiled, enjoying this conversation with the great
Whoever. “You have me pegged, I have to admit. Now, if we
met in person, I guess I might be so in awe that I couldn’t
speak, but over the phone, I might ask you some tough
questions and in fact be a little hard on you.” He lifted
the remote, pressed a button, and the television screen
went dark.
“Of course I know that. I picked communicating with you by
telephone because it is immediate and comfortable. You can
be as hard as you want. You can’t ask me anything I don’t
already know, and, given that I’m God and you’re a human
created and existing by my leave, I’m at ease in this
situation, my ego not threatened in the least.”
“You’re right, but how could you be anything else? If
you’re supposed to be infinitely good and merciful, then
why is there so much suffering in the world?”
“I might object first to the word supposed. I am what I am.
I simply am. I am universal; infinite in my scope. To apply
any adjective to describe a boundary to my being is to move
away from the truth, and ‘good,’ despite its positive
connotations, is a limit. I am everything and nothing. So,
in a phrase, I am infinitely good and bad, at least in the
way you think. In this universe, the one in which you
exist, evil exists along with good, and I allowed both to
be. Having been responsible for the creation of both, it
would be fair to say I am both. Clearly, as an infinite
power, I could halt all strife, hunger, and misery in a
second. The fact that I choose not to do so, for my own
reasons, means that by your definition I am not infinitely
merciful. Some people cannot accept that, so they choose to
see only the good, and not the bad. But in this universe,
there are both, and I made them.”
“That’s
not the answer I would have expected. What about Satan?”
“Satan has a purpose for those who fear evil. Satan is a
way of attributing evil to a being other than me, which
gives comfort to those who want to see me as purely good.
But, in fact, since I created Satan, I created evil. Satan
would not exist, except for by my design and by my leave.
This concept is not so troubling, I know, to you as you act
it is.”
“Why create evil? Why let it exist? It seems so wrong.”
“Yes. You blame me easily. Do you really, though, object to
the suffering? You spend more time on your own pursuits, by
a large margin, than you do actually working to help the
poor and the unfortunate. With your own failings, how do
you presume to question mine?”
“I’m not God. I get tired. I’m imperfect. I didn’t create
the problems to begin with.”
“Good points, but you have to admit they’re just excuses. I
gave you so much, and you give so little back. There are
children helpless and hopeless, and you’re watching
Seinfeld while they starve. Real death, real misery, real
pain, all while you relax.”
Robert felt shame, “God” hit His mark, but the conversation
had reached such a speed that he didn’t want to reflect too
deeply before parrying the thrust. “Maybe I am lazy. But if
I were God and lazy, I just wouldn’t have created evil in
the first place, saving myself the effort and preserving my
infinite goodness.”
“You’re not God, though, and creating the universe, even
this little earth, is not so simple. For you to experience
good, there must be evil. For you to really understand life
there must be death. For love to have its full measure of
joy, you must know the emptiness of hate. For you to have
perception as an independent life, you must be able to see
things opposed to each other. It is dark; it is light. You
cannot understand the light if you do not know the dark. So
to give you full reign to enjoy life, I allowed the
oppositions to occur. In many cases, I admit, people see
much more misery than they do joy. Since, however, humans
are not bound to fight, kill, and horde wealth
individually, the fault lies with your species. Since I
created you, I share in the blame.”
“Suppose that makes sense, why did you create us in the
first place? To watch us suffer and die? That hardly seems
a fit pursuit for a god.” Robert caught himself referring
to the call as if the claim of divinity were accurate. He
wondered for a moment. When, if ever, had something this
odd occurred before? He couldn’t recall.
“To beg off your questions for a moment, I want to address
that you doubt my identity. I lay the whole created
universe out before you. The blazing sun, the freezing
moon, and yet you want a burning bush? The fact you exist
is miracle enough; certainly more miracle than you can
explain, and yet you want more. The whole business of
believing in me is faith, so you’ll just have to trust your
judgment. You don’t get any more. The universe is enough.
The breath you just took is enough. Take this call for what
it’s worth: communication with the all-knowing creator, or
a strange trick you can’t explain. Neither makes sense.
Now, on to your questions. I did not create you to suffer
and die, nor to watch you suffer and die. I created you to
experience something that I could not directly experience.
Being finite. Being something, but not everything. I see
from your experience that being finite has its drawbacks.
You tend to be selfish, and that leads to unnecessary
suffering.”
“But even if you’re infinite, aren’t you selfish too? After
all, you did all this to further your own observations.”
“I don’t think so. And to the contrary, I gave you
everything I had, and something I can never have. That, you
must agree, is generous. There’s an irony here, though. I
wanted to experience the finite through you, and I
accomplished that. You, however, hold this against me
because you cannot appreciate what it is to be infinite.”
“You have left me behind. If you are infinite, how did we
get something you don’t have?”
“Again, by being less than me, you are the one thing I
cannot be. I am everything and nothing at once. You are
defined. And in making you such, I am provided with many
insights into the condition of being finite. You go to
sleep at night with aggravations and joys from what
happened, and expectations of what will happen the next
day. I have none of that. Largely, you sense these things
through the movement of time, which gives you perspective
on your physical dimensions. For me there is no time, and
no mass; or, all eternity and infinite mass. It makes
little difference, since I am relative to nothing. Am I
heavy? Compared to what. Am I powerful? Compared to what.”
“So what you find interesting is our human condition. Our
self-absorption. We’re selfish because we have the ability
to be selfless, and we don’t exercise it. And, moreover, we
have a self to be selfish for.”
“Now you understand.”
“What about all the singing and praise people do at
church?”
“That’s of no consequence to me, but it is good for them,
because it let’s them feel they’ve done something to please
me.”
“I had always wondered about that. Why would God want
people singing His praises on Sunday, and, if He did, why
not make everyone great singers?”
“Now you know the real answer, and it is as you expected.”
“While I’ve got you on the line, what happens when we die?
Do some go to the streets of gold in heaven while others
burn in hell?”
“In a sense, yes. For those who truly see beyond
themselves, they will pass to an existence that is
ultimately satisfying, as, in truth, they are reunified
with me. They were part of me once, before the creation,
and they will be so again upon death. Part of the integral
fabric of everything, this existence for them is supreme.
For those who never see past themselves, and who live only
for the pleasure of the day, death is a terror much greater
than hell is commonly described. Death is the loss of
individuality. Despite all their efforts to garner pleasant
experiences and memories at the expense of others, these
things will be ripped away, vanished, at the instant of
death. But these conceptions are useful for the living
only. In death, understanding comes for all. An
understanding not in individual conception, but as part of
all that I am. I can see this is difficult.”
“It is. Do you mean that people should not seek pleasure,
because the…”
“Let’s take this further. The eternal truth is all about
you. Your illusion of discrete existence is due to your
inability to see the supreme. And all that is in the
universe can be found in the smallest of things. Take for
instance the overused saying, ‘Let there be light.’ Light
has always fascinated and comforted humans. This is part of
your genius; you have always been on the right track. Light
as your physicists now understand it represents a tiny
amount of energy, and so a tiny amount of mass, that you
can create through stimulated radiation. You create the
light, reflect it off an object, and the reflected or
regenerated light finds its way to your eye. There you
record the received energy as a visual scene. Perhaps begun
with a flashlight. But consider the situation from the
point of view of the light. For light, according to your
equations, time stands still. The light, for all it can
tell, has existed for all time and will exist for all time
to come. In fact, it knows no creation and no destruction,
because those things imply the passage of time. In fact,
the light experiences everything at once, since it
definitely traverses the distances of space, interacts with
other matter, but all simultaneous as far as the light is
concerned. Whether something has been or is to be is
irrelevant to the light, because it doesn’t know time. It
has an immediate awareness of everything that ever has been
and ever will be. So while you are limited to recording one
instant at a time, which generates the need for memory and
for prediction, light does not have that boundary. Light
begins to approach the divine, because it is infinite in
its scope. Maybe you won’t take cutting that flashlight on
so routinely next time. Now light doesn’t define the
divine, there is more to it than that, but light is of the
divine, and closer to it than you. Light, by not
experiencing time, is closer to unity with me, as I do not
experience time.”
“Again, I’m not with you.”
“Your scientists are working as diligently to find as much
as a human can know about me and my nature as your clergy.
They have the same goal; they just don’t know it. Neither
can find the answer without the other. The clergy make the
mistake of concentrating on the spiritual and the moral,
but they ignore that the most palpable marvels I created
are physical, and in the physical reside many of my
secrets. The unity of everything, for instance. The
scientists make the mistake of concentrating on the
physical, but arrogantly to the exclusion of the spiritual.
The nature of my being is so different than what they
conceive as the limits of existence that I can truly be
regarded as supernatural, and am best conceived as a
spiritual being. Bound and described by no dimensions, by
definition I am not physical, not natural to your world.
Scientists begin to see that the dimensions you perceive
were born of the disunity resulting from the so-called Big
Bang, but they cannot imagine what was before, and since
they say there was no time before the Big Bang, there was
no thing before the Big Bang. But I was before the Big
Bang.
In essence, I took a part of me, a part of all that was
perfectly unified, and created a disunity which is your
universe and which allows you to exist in your strange,
limited way. I distorted what was perfect, and in this
region of imperfection, the stars of your galaxies formed,
the empty space formed, your solar system formed, and you
formed. Behold your limitations. Your entire conscience
mind will never know or experience a fraction of what one
electron of one atom of one molecule of one cell of your
body experiences. That electron, a blur of energy and mass,
is a tiny step away from rejoining me in unity. Its energy
is frozen, artificially, to become mass, so as to form the
basis for the things in your universe, and it has existed
since the beginning of time. With the right prodding, that
electron will release itself back to pure energy, and
become part of the seamless web of all. You have done this
to some degree in the application of atomic energy. You
have learned that mass itself can be vanquished, returned
to a state of pure energy, and in that glorious insight you
saw only the makings of a terrible weapon. But you do lack
perspective.”
“I see that everything that I know that exists was once
part of you, and the simpler and more basic something is,
the closer it is to returning to unity with you.”
“That’s not an unfair summary.”
“If I’m understanding, then, our desire to explore and
learn is owing to our separation, that you created, from
everything else.”
“Fine.”
“And if I’m following you, then, what may be the key to
happiness is accepting our own limitations, my limitations,
and find joy in the things I do not have, but that I can
enjoy experiencing. And find joy in sharing with others,
because it reduces just a little that part of us that is
alone.”
“Fine.”
“Why are you saying fine? Am I right or not?”
“I’m not going to lay out the key to happiness for you. You
have to find it, if you ever do. And it may be different
for others. But I am not disagreeing with you. I said fine,
and that ought to be a compliment, coming from me.”
“You just won’t make it easy, will you?”
“No. Parts are easy, and parts are hard.”
“I should have guessed that.”
“You already knew it. Forgive the hard parts; they’re
necessary for the easy parts.”
“I will try. I think I already believed all this.”
“Good. I have enjoyed this conversation as much as I can,
but I really should go, and let you get back to dinner.”
“Thanks, it’s cool now.”
“You can reheat it. It was going to be bad anyway. Please
continue to enjoy life. It’s not a waste of time, it’s the
whole reason I created time.”
“That may not be as easy now. I can’t tell people you
called. They won’t believe me, or worse maybe, they might.”
“So don’t tell. Maybe I’ve already talked to them, and
they’re not telling you. It’s our secret. If it causes you
a problem, you’ll come to believe it was a dream.”
“I’ll just have to trust you.”
The call-waiting signal clicked, and God spoke. “You should
take that call.”
“Right. I’m afraid to think who it could be. But since you
said to, I’ll be right back, so please hold.”
God replied, “I don’t do that well.” Robert clicked the
line over. A voice said, “Is this Mr. Cordland?” “Yes it
is.” “Are you satisfied with your long-distance carrier?”
“Yes, and this is a bad time to call,” Robert replied, with
irritation, before cutting off the telemarketer and
switching back to his original call.
“Sorry about that. I’ve still got some questions, are you
sure you can’t talk a bit longer.”
The line, however, was no longer occupied on the other end.
Without surprise, Robert looked at the receiver and then
set it on the table again. He looked down at the now cold
dinner, and then at the blank television. Outside, the sun
was going down, disappearing below the trees, on its way to
bring day to another part of the world. Its light spilled
out to the clouds, creating a brilliant pink glow that
spread over the land. Robert walked to the window and
listened to the still evening, the sound of children
playing drifting through the lazy evening air. He crossed
the floor, opened the door and stepped outside. Without
shutting the door behind him, he walked outside into the
fading light. He wasn’t hungry anymore. He was amused, and
happy to be alive.
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