On-line dating is a great alternative to the normal practice of dating, in which you go to bars with your friends and fail repeatedly to make contact with anyone you actually would ever want to talk to again. With on-line dating, you can be rejected by people from all over without leaving your increasingly dreary home. On-line dating used to have a stigma attached to it, with your presence in such a service indicating your inability to attract people through normal means (faking how much you make, wearing slutty outfits). Instead you were viewed as desperate, even though you viewed your course as elevating the process to a more selective method of attraction. Now, so many people do it, the stigma is gone, even though you really are desperate and probably a failure at attracting people through more normal means.

Things you should know about on-line dating. Girls, if a guy cannot talk to you in the evening, it’s because he’s married. If a guy cannot talk to you during the day or during the evening unless he initiates the call from a prepaid cell phone, it’s because he’s married to at least two women, and he’s not even Mormon. No matter what the guy’s profile says he looks like, there is a 30% chance he’s bald (not the cool-looking kind either) and a 25% chance he’s at least 20 pounds heavier than his profile pictures show, because in on-line dating, everyone is suddenly a photoshop expert.

Guys, if the woman does not have a time-stamped full-body photograph, she’s fat. If she has a full-body photograph, she’s still probably fat. My favorite pictures involve the lady sucking in so hard in the full-body photograph it looks like she’s about to blow out the birthday candles on her great-aunt’s cake from 200 yards away. Or, of course, the "myspace angle" trick that nobody falls for anymore. If there's any doubt, tell her you think smart chicks are hot, and ask to see a photo of her reading today's newspaper, because that's soo sexy.

Alright, advice time. You need to score, and you need to do it quickly. First, because you’re desperate, and second because these type services are seldom free. How do you write a winning profile? Be funny, interesting, compassionate, and exude stability without being wordy. Easy, right? You can skip all of that if you are hot and wealthy, but if you were both of those things, you wouldn’t be online, would you? I know the truth hurts, but unlike your on-line profile, I’m telling it like it is.

Want more advice? Read my Match Profiles page for tips and samples. It’s guaranteed potentially to increase your results, depending on other variables.

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