Jesus Rules! If you grow up in a Christian setting, that’s what they tell you. But, when I was growing up, from what I heard Jesus was a nice guy, but somebody you’d probably get tired of pretty quick. All he ever did was lecture people and meditate. And, of course, complain about your behavior.

A lot of that isn’t true, though. Sure, Jesus went on the occasional rant, cursing a tree or making extreme statements, but he also did some cool stuff that most churches just don’t get. Here is an example of Jesus getting his groove on.

Early in his reported career, Jesus got invited to a wedding. Pretty sweet to have Jesus at your wedding! Anyway, the caterer was lame and apparently forgot the beverages so the poor wedding couple only had wine. When one among Jesus’ group looked around for the bar and asked where the Chardonnay was, Mary said “They have no wine.” (John 2-3, KJV) Jesus thought this was bent, and said to his Mom, “Woman, what have I to do with thee? Mine hour is not yet come.” (John 2-4, KJV) Loosely translated, this means, “Woman, you need to step off. Watch me bust a move.” Mary got the message and told the waitstaff, “Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it.” (John 2-5, KJV) Jesus ordered them to line up the bottles, did a little of this and a little of that, and BAM sweet, sweet fruit of the vine. Jesus told them to take a bottle up to the host and watch the fireworks. The host took a sip, called the groom and said, “Man, I thought you had let the well run dry, but this party is about to get kicked up a notch.” (loose translation, John 2-10, KJV) The groom winked at Jesus, and thus they all beganth the electric slideth.

This proves to me that Jesus was not lame or boring. Instead, he liked to rock the house and see people have fun. When’s the last time anyone talked about Jesus having fun? Or Mohammed? Or Moses? Ok, Moses was pretty much humorless – I would not have wanted to bring his daughter home late.

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